Shut up about the horse

When it comes to horses, I make my opinion known. I don't like them. They are large, they are stinky, and they suck at jumping over tiny fences. A horse was responsible for putting Christopher Reeves in a wheelchair. Let's face it -- they are monsters. Graceful, majestic monsters.

Now, the only thing I dislike more than a horse is a horse that gets large amounts of publicity to the point that it's treated like a human being. Barbaro was one such horse. For a while there, it was quite easy to mix up Barbaro with David Koresh (pre-Waco siege) due to the overwhelming amount of people claiming this horse as their personal savior. It was really good at running around in a loop, it beat some other horses, it broke it's ankle, and suddenly the animal becomes front page news like it just brought peace to the Middle East. In fact, after recovering from his surgery a little over a year ago, Barbaro was overheard by the scientist people that operated on him saying that he was bigger than Jesus Christ. Yessir, I hate this horse in particular more than other regular horses. And I know I'm not the only one.

So during one of my neurotic, thrice-daily check-ups on Philly.com, I found this:


Your "beloved" Barbaro? Oh please, lady. I may not like horses, but I agree with people who do like horses: if you truly care for a horse, you won't race 'em. It's that simple -- horses that race other horses around a loop too much end up making millions of dollars for their owners but end up with a lifespan equivalent to that of a fruit fly. If Barbaro was truly "their beloved", they would've let it sit around the house and watch TV all day, not raced him until his legs shattered into bone dust.

No, Barbaro was beloved because he was worth more than all the veterinarians that operated on him, combined. That's why they kept him alive for eight months longer than they should have, and that's why the Inquirer and Daily News keep revisiting this ridiculous story each time they're given the chance (it's his birthday! it's the anniversary of his win at the Derby! it's the anniversary of the day he broke his ankle! it's the anniversary of the day he broke wind!)

I have no statistical evidence to back this up, but I imagine that a newspaper with Barbaro on the front would sell better than one with Michael Nutter on the front. In fact, to expound on a thought from yesterday, Barbaro could probably beat Chaka Fattah, Milton Street, and Mumia Abu Jamal in a race for mayor (but not in a regular footrace -- everyone knows that Chaka Fattah would whup the shit out of that horse).

Mayor Mumia?

On the way back from Quizno's this afternoon, I stopped to gawk at the Free Mumia protest that was blocking the intersection at 15th and JFK in front of City Hall. I'm guessing there were about 150 people crowding around with signs, t-shirts, banners, and megaphones. I'm always game to sit and watch the drama that always unfolds when people decide this to be their preferred method of expressing opinions, so I found a bench and ate my delicious toasted sub right there. It was one of my more memorable lunch hours since I started working in Center City many months ago.

The thought occurred to me on the way back to my cubicle, then, that Chaka Fattah organizers had tried to block that same intersection with a protest on Monday afternoon and, from what I heard, had failed miserably. Back in March, Milton Street held a rally there with probably the same intentions, as he had said that he would not run for mayor unless 5,000 people showed up -- and that failed spectacularly as well. WHICH MEANS: if Mumia Abu Jamal were in a race against either Chaka Fattah or Milton Street for mayor, MUMIA would probably win.

I know it's a joke and most likely untrue (I certainly hope that more people would come out and vote for a guy convicted of unpaid parking tickets before they vote for a guy convicted of shooting a cop) but the thought itself is entertaining. Also entertaining: the "Welcome to Philadelphia" t-shirts that display a silhouette of a Philadelphia P.D. chopper firebombing the MOVE group on Osage Ave.

This fuckin' city.

Man, I'ma double you up

While on the way to Exton Station this morning, I was listening to this report on KYW: (I know the link says ABC but I couldn't find the story on 1060's website yet)

Detectives tell Action News that someone shot the person near the concourse at 15th and JFK.
Officers found the victim in a stairway at around 2 a.m.
The victim died a short time later at a local hospital. Right now, police are looking for the shooter.
SEPTA officials say, the investigation will not affect the morning commute.

I knew 15th and JFK was the address of the buildings where I work, but either I wasn't really awake or didn't really think twice about it. It hit me when I got off the train and was walking through the Suburban Station underground and heard this exchange:

Homeless Dude who holds the door for people at Dunkin Donuts: "Man, I'm a double you up."

Other dude: (inaudible)

Homeless Dude: "Some guy got killed down here last night, man. Yeah, I was down here when it happened."

Now, I know this might sound callous, but being in Center City and commuting to the 'burbs each day is a little like living in a bubble within the City of Philadelphia. When you hear about "the killin's" as Milton Street put it so eloquently a couple weeks ago, it's on the radio, it's on TV, it's in the newspapers, but it's not a common topic of conversation outside your workplace. In fact, it still seems like it's happening in another area. Hell, look at this map from the Inquirer that maps the incidents in the city from 2006. Up until now, these shootings HAVE been happening somewhere else -- there are dozens of blocks that make up that blank area that represents where I've been going to work every day for the past six months.

But today, some dude was shot and killed in a spot I walk through every day, six hours before I walked through there. And while it might still seem to be some sort of surreal, alien issue to me that I only hear about on the news, to the folks who can't just hop on a train out of town every day at 5PM it's a fact of life.

Wherein the Philadelphia Mayor's race is decided with a Battle of the Bands

Gospel Crooner Milton Street:





Punk Rocker Larry West:







Ok... this Larry West kid is a guy I can get behind based on enthusiasm alone.



Well... that and the haircut.

FUCK YES LARRY WEST

Links via [Philly Will Do & Live From...]

T. Milton Street: The "T" stands for "Tirade"

I came back from Milton Street's "rally" (read: small get-together) in front of City Hall about an hour ago. I still have no coherent words or thoughts from what I saw there.



For those of you who refuse to follow politics (or maybe just aren't interested in Philly politics), T. Milton Street is Mayor John Street's crazy older brother. He's decided that he's going to run for mayor in a race that already has like a dozen candidates in it already. He's also decided that he's going to say and do all the comically insensitive and outlandish things that politicians AVOID doing if they're going to run for public office. This guy has been in the limelight of the mayor's race for maybe two weeks now, and already he's calling opponents "Watermelon Man", gotten arrested for years-old parking ticket violations, and the list goes on and on. I could list all of his wacky missteps, but instead I'll just let you peruse the archives of the world's preeminent Milton Street analyst / historian, D-Mac over at PhillyWillDo.

Some choice statistics from today's event, courtesy of D-Mac:

2: Number of members of the reggae band that was supposed to perform that were killed this morning, according Milton Street
1: Number of hecklers who yelled "You're going to jail, Milton"
1: Times Milton Street returned fire against the "white people heckling me over there"

To call this rally a circus would be accurate, except for the fact that people usually come out to see the circus by the thousands. And, even though he promised he wouldn't run unless 5,000 people came out to this event, Street of course went back on that when it was clear that no more than 200 curious onlookers and a couple of news helicopters were going to make it today. He said God was telling him to continue on, likening his struggle to that of Jesus' toil in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. This, of course, was AFTER he drug a casket out onto the stage and launched into song in the middle of his rambling, hour-long speech.

You're sure to see a replay tonight on TV, as every media outlet in town was there gathering up the precious footage to chuckle at on the evening news. Even WIP, the sports-talk station, was there asking people what they thought about the whole thing. It's good for a laugh, if nothing else, and you might even see some B-roll with me in the back of the crowd, looking dumbfounded.

Links and pictures via [Philly Will Do]

Edit: Forgot to mention that I saw the Inquirer's Peter Mucha there doing his "Live From..." blog. Here are the entries (typically short and unfiltered) he posted while walking through the crowd with his laptop caddy attached to his torso: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8