Shut up about the horse

When it comes to horses, I make my opinion known. I don't like them. They are large, they are stinky, and they suck at jumping over tiny fences. A horse was responsible for putting Christopher Reeves in a wheelchair. Let's face it -- they are monsters. Graceful, majestic monsters.

Now, the only thing I dislike more than a horse is a horse that gets large amounts of publicity to the point that it's treated like a human being. Barbaro was one such horse. For a while there, it was quite easy to mix up Barbaro with David Koresh (pre-Waco siege) due to the overwhelming amount of people claiming this horse as their personal savior. It was really good at running around in a loop, it beat some other horses, it broke it's ankle, and suddenly the animal becomes front page news like it just brought peace to the Middle East. In fact, after recovering from his surgery a little over a year ago, Barbaro was overheard by the scientist people that operated on him saying that he was bigger than Jesus Christ. Yessir, I hate this horse in particular more than other regular horses. And I know I'm not the only one.

So during one of my neurotic, thrice-daily check-ups on Philly.com, I found this:


Your "beloved" Barbaro? Oh please, lady. I may not like horses, but I agree with people who do like horses: if you truly care for a horse, you won't race 'em. It's that simple -- horses that race other horses around a loop too much end up making millions of dollars for their owners but end up with a lifespan equivalent to that of a fruit fly. If Barbaro was truly "their beloved", they would've let it sit around the house and watch TV all day, not raced him until his legs shattered into bone dust.

No, Barbaro was beloved because he was worth more than all the veterinarians that operated on him, combined. That's why they kept him alive for eight months longer than they should have, and that's why the Inquirer and Daily News keep revisiting this ridiculous story each time they're given the chance (it's his birthday! it's the anniversary of his win at the Derby! it's the anniversary of the day he broke his ankle! it's the anniversary of the day he broke wind!)

I have no statistical evidence to back this up, but I imagine that a newspaper with Barbaro on the front would sell better than one with Michael Nutter on the front. In fact, to expound on a thought from yesterday, Barbaro could probably beat Chaka Fattah, Milton Street, and Mumia Abu Jamal in a race for mayor (but not in a regular footrace -- everyone knows that Chaka Fattah would whup the shit out of that horse).

A horse is a horse, unless it's dead

Prepare yourselves for one last news blitz about our Lord and Savior Barbaro, as the Kentucky Derby winner and inspiration to millions was put to sleep earlier today. Even though Barbaro and his trainers were from Kennett Square, Chester County, I cannot honestly say that I care even one bit for this majestic animal. However, on the other end of the spectrum, there are folks who care a little too much about our four-legged friend:

I must admit that on hearing the sad news of Barbaro's passing, the only other times that I have felt so empty and so devastated was when President Kennedy was assassinated, and when the World Trade Center Twin Towers collapsed.

and:

For eight months I prayed for a miracle for Barbaro. Even last night at 8 p.m. EST I kept praying. To me, Barbaro represented hope in dark times, belief that in God all things were possible including a miracle for a well-loved horse who just wouldn't give up. Yet within the past five days, I learned three times that God does not hear prayers or grant miracles. Barbaro was the third. I've come to the conclusion that "in Him, all things are NOT possible." With respect to Barbaro, the only redemption is that he is no longer suffering.

D-Mac over at Philly Will Do is collecting these precious prayers all week long, so stop over and say hello if you get a chance. It's a hell of a blog to read; unless, that is, you're a raving lunatic disciple of a racehorse.

link via [Philly Will Do]